He is defending the library's right to have the book "Uncle Bobby's Wedding" in the children's section of the library. I am hoping I can be so eloquent when dealing with conflict in the future.
I am also including a copy of what he wrote here... just in case something happens with the blog or link...
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Recently, a library patron challenged (urged a reconsideration of the ownership or placement of) a book called "Uncle Bobby's Wedding." Honestly, I hadn't even heard of it until that complaint. But I did read the book, and responded to the patron, who challenged the item through email and requested that I respond online (not via snail-mail) about her concerns.
I suspect the book will get a lot of challenges in 2008-2009. So I offer my response, purging the patron's name, for other librarians.
Uncle Bobby's wedding
June 27, 2008
Dear Ms. Patron:
Thank you for working with my assistant to allow me to fit your concerns about “Uncle Bobby's Wedding,” by Sarah S. Brannen, into our “reconsideration” process. I have been assured that you have received and viewed our relevant policies: the Library Bill of Rights, the Freedom to Read, Free Access to Libraries for Minors, the Freedom to View, and our Reconsideration Policy.
The intent of providing all that isn't just to occupy your time. It's to demonstrate that our lay Board of Trustees –- which has reviewed and adopted these policies on behalf of our library -- has spent time thinking about the context in which the library operates, and thoughtfully considered the occasional discomfort (with our culture or constituents) that might result. There's a lot to consider.
Here's what I understand to be your concern, based on your writings. First, you believe that “the book is specifically designed to normalize gay marriage and is targeted toward the 2-7 year old age group.” Your second key concern is that you “find it inappropriate that this type of literature is available to this age group.” You cite your discussion with your daughter, and commented, “This was not the type of conversation I thought I would be having with my seven year old in the nightly bedtime routine.”
Finally, you state your strong belief, first, “in America and the beliefs of our founding fathers,” and second, that “marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman as stated in the Webster's dictionary and also in the Bible.”
You directed me to the SarahBrannen.com site, which I also reviewed. I got a copy of “Uncle Bobby's Wedding” today, and read it. I even hauled out my favorite Webster's (the college edition, copyright 1960).
First, I think you're right that the purpose of the book is to show a central event, the wedding of two male characters, as no big thing. The emotional center of the story, of course, is Chloe's fear that she's losing a favorite uncle to another relationship. That fear, I think, is real enough to be an issue for a lot of young children. But yes, Sarah Brannen clearly was trying to portray gay marriage as normal, as not nearly so important as the changing relationship between a young person and her favorite uncle.
Your second issue is a little trickier. You say that the book is inappropriate, and I infer that your reason is the topic itself: gay marriage. I think a lot of adults imagine that what defines a children's book is the subject. But that's not the case. Children's books deal with anything and everything. There are children's books about death (even suicide), adult alcoholism, family violence, and more. Even the most common fairy tales have their grim side: the father and stepmother of Hansel and Gretel, facing hunger and poverty, take the children into the woods, and abandon them to die! Little Red Riding Hood (in the original version, anyhow) was eaten by the wolf along with granny. There's a fascinating book about this, by the bye, called “The Uses of Enchantment: the Meaning and Importance of Fairy Tales,” by psychologist Bruno Bettelheim. His thesis is that both the purpose and power of children's literature is to help young people begin to make sense of the world. There is a lot out there that is confusing, or faintly threatening, and even dangerous in the world. Stories help children name their fears, understand them, work out strategies for dealing with life. In Hansel and Gretel, children learn that cleverness and mutual support might help you to escape bad situations. In Little Red Riding Hood, they learn not to talk to big bad strangers. Of course, not all children's books deal with “difficult issues,” maybe not even most of them. But it's not unusual.
So what defines a children's book is the treatment, not the topic. “Uncle Bobby's Wedding” is 27-28 pages long (if you count the dedication page). Generally, there are about 30 words per page, and each page is illustrated. The main character, and the key perspective, is that of a young girl. The book is published by G. P. Putnam's Sons, “a division of Penguin Young Readers Group.” The Cataloging in Publication information (on the back side of the title page) shows that the catalogers of the Library of Congress identified it as an “E” book – easy or beginning reader. Bottom line: It's hard for me to see it as anything but a children's book.
You suggested that the book could be “placed in an area designating the subject matter,” or “labeled for parental guidance” by stating that “some material may be inappropriate for young children.” I have two responses. First, we tried the “parenting collection” approach a couple of times in my history here. And here's what we found: nobody uses them. They constitute a barrier to discovery and use. The books there – and some very fine ones -- just got lost. In the second case, I believe that every book in the children's area, particularly in the area where usually the parent is reading the book aloud, involves parental guidance. The labeling issue is tricky, too: is the topic just homosexuality? Where babies come from? Authority figures that can't be trusted? Stepmothers who abandon their children to die?
Ultimately, such labels make up a governmental determination of the moral value of the story. It seems to me – as a father who has done a lot of reading to his kids over the years – that that kind of decision is up to the parents, not the library. Because here's the truth of the matter: not every parent has the same value system.
You feel that a book about gay marriage is inappropriate for young children. But another book in our collection, “Daddy's Roommate,” was requested by a mother whose husband left her, and their young son, for another man. She was looking for a way to begin talking about this with son. Another book, “Alfie's Home,” was purchased at the request of another mother looking for a way to talk about the suspected homosexuality of her young son from a Christian perspective. There are gay parents in Douglas County, right now, who also pay taxes, and also look for materials to support their views. We don't have very many books on this topic, but we do have a handful.
In short, most of the books we have are designed not to interfere with parents' notions of how to raise their children, but to support them. But not every parent is looking for the same thing.
Your third point, about the founders' vision of America, is something that has been a matter of keen interest to me most of my adult life. In fact, I even wrote a book about it, where I went back and read the founders' early writings about the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. What a fascinating time to be alive! What astonishing minds! Here's what I learned: our whole system of government was based on the idea that the purpose of the state was to preserve individual liberties, not to dictate them. The founders uniformly despised many practices in England that compromised matters of individual conscience by restricting freedom of speech. Freedom of speech – the right to talk, write, publish, discuss – was so important to the founders that it was the first amendment to the Constitution – and without it, the Constitution never would have been ratified.
How then, can we claim that the founders would support the restriction of access to a book that really is just about an idea, to be accepted or rejected as you choose? What harm has this book done to anyone? Your seven year old told you, “Boys are not supposed to marry.” In other words, you have taught her your values, and those values have taken hold. That's what parents are supposed to do, and clearly, exposure to this book, or several, doesn't just overthrow that parental influence. It does, of course, provide evidence that not everybody agrees with each other; but that's true, isn't it?
The second part of your third point was your belief that marriage was between a man and a woman. My Webster's actually gives several definitions of marriage: “1. the state of being married; relation between husband and wife...; 2. the act of marrying, wedding; 3. the rite or form used in marrying; 4. any close or intimate union.” Definitions 2-4, even as far back as 1960, could be stretched to include a wedding between two men. Word definitions change; legal rights change. In some parts of America, at least today, gay marriage is legal. If it's legal, then how could writing a book about it be inappropriate?
Finally, then, I conclude that “Uncle Bobby's Wedding” is a children's book, appropriately categorized and shelved in our children's picture book area. I fully appreciate that you, and some of your friends, strongly disagree with its viewpoint. But if the library is doing its job, there are lots of books in our collection that people won't agree with; there are certainly many that I object to. Library collections don't imply endorsement; they imply access to the many different ideas of our culture, which is precisely our purpose in public life.
As noted in our policies, you do have the right to appeal my decision to the Board of Trustees. If you'd like to do that, let me know, and I can schedule a meeting. Meanwhile, I'm more than happy to discuss this further with you. I do appreciate many things: your obvious value of reading, your frank and loving relationship with your child, your willingness to raise issues of importance to you in the public square, and more. Thank you, very much, for taking the time to raise your concerns with me. Although I suspect you may not agree with my decision, I hope it's clear that I've given it a great deal of thought, and believe it is in accordance with both our guiding principles, and those, incidentally, of the founders of our nation.
Best wishes to you and your family,
Posted by Jamie at 6:00 PM
- Location:home
- Mood:
hopeful - Music:Indigo Girls, Moment of Forgiveness
- Location:home
- Mood: amused
How to talk to children about the tiger attack
An event such as the fatal Christmas Day tiger mauling at the San Francisco Zoo can be traumatic for a child, especially one who has been a regular at the zoo and keeps track of current events on TV or in the newspaper. Here are some tips from Marisol Muñoz-Kiehne, clinical psychologist and host of "Nuestros Niños" on KLOK-AM 1170, on how to talk to your child about the attacks:
-- Parents and caregivers should use good judgment in deciding whether to expose children, especially very young ones, to any news that could be very disturbing or confusing to them.
-- If children are aware of the news, adults should ensure they understand as much as possible about whatever they saw or heard.
-- Ask them questions about what they saw or heard, to see how they understand and feel about it.
-- Remember that dramatic, tragic news involving animals can upset young children who see similar creatures as storybook and cartoon characters and as beloved stuffed toys.
-- Because children's thinking is quite different from that of typical adults, we should not assume they "get it" as we do.
-- Respond to children's questions at their level of understanding, honestly, and without unnecessary details (avoid TMI: too much information).
-- If children appear upset by the news, such as expressing increased persistent fears, validate their feelings and offer reassurance by surrounding them by safe, familiar objects and experiences.
-- Some children are helped by using play and drawing to enact or depict the disturbing events; adults can help by introducing in the play preventive measures that change the negative outcome and/or emphasizing the help and rescue measures that ensured the end of the attacks.
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A rant will ensue at a later time.
- Mood:
irritated
September 1994 - October 6, 2007
Thank you for being a part of my life
- Mood:
sad
You are Deanna Troi
|
You are a caring and loving individual. You understand people's emotions and you are able to comfort and counsel them.  |
Click here to take the Star Trek Personality Test
So here is the topic.
Feelings: If they REALLY knew me they wouldn't like me VS. all out fear.
Now you could say both are fear based, and you would be correct. What I am thinking when I say all out fear, however, is more along the lines of things you cannot control, such as future events and how that fear of essentially the unknown can change your behavior today.
Anyway, time for work.
It will be interesting to see any thoughts on this.
- Location:bedroom
- Mood:
thoughtful - Music:clothes dryer
You are the World
Completion, Good Reward.
The World is the final card of the Major Arcana, and as such represents saturnian energies, time, and completion.
The World card pictures a dancer in a Yoni (sometimes made of laurel leaves). The Yoni symbolizes the great Mother, the cervix through which everything is born, and also the doorway to the next life after death. It is indicative of a complete circle. Everything is finally coming together, successfully and at last. You will get that Ph.D. you've been working for years to complete, graduate at long last, marry after a long engagement, or finish that huge project. This card is not for little ends, but for big ones, important ones, ones that come with well earned cheers and acknowledgements. Your hard work, knowledge, wisdom, patience, etc, will absolutely pay-off; you've done everything right.
What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.
- Location:home
- Mood:
blah - Music:Happy Dogs
Kyrie and Kola can be taken to Pet Care in case of an emergency. Their number is 579-5900 and are on the corner of Fulton and Gurenville -- all of their info is already on file and they already have your name and instructions on what to do. Please remind them that the dogs are being seen at Coddingtown Vet Clinic.
You can also take them to Animal Care Center in RP right off of the 101. Their number is 584-4343.
They each get 1.5 patties in the AM and again in the PM.
Thanks!
Hugs and fishes!
Ky
| My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul |
|---|
| Kyranas_blog goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as Midevial Witch. |
| celestedevaneau tricks you! You get an eraser. |
| cougiecub gives you 17 red-orange strawberry-flavoured pieces of taffy. |
| evilmommytina gives you 12 orange grape-flavoured nuggets. |
| jazzy_puppy tricks you! You lose 6 pieces of candy! |
| ladyravenfyr gives you 7 brown coconut-flavoured gummy bats. |
| lavendergrrrl tricks you! You get a scratched CD. |
| mallory_blog gives you 18 milky white cola-flavoured wafers. |
| mr_heathen tricks you! You lose 8 pieces of candy! |
| musicwomyn gives you 18 purple chocolate-flavoured pieces of taffy. |
| nrthangel gives you 18 pink coffee-flavoured pieces of bubblegum. |
| Kyranas_blog ends up with 76 pieces of candy, an eraser, and a scratched CD. |
| Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern. |
That keeps rolling in my head, nothing more, nothing less. I sometimes wonder, “when I was a little girl WHAT?” but nothing has surfaced yet.
Funny how people are or rather how I am. So much as happened since my last post – it has been a whirlwind – and yet I don’t write. There has been talk (I often process best and fastest that way) but no writing to record life as it unfolded.
I find I am allowing myself to be distracted from writing. As if I am avoiding it. My bags are barely unpacked. I have been walking around wishing for quiet and silence and yet when I can have it, I refuse to claim it. Even now, as I attempt to type, I have had two electronic conversations going on and have scanned through a website on one of the judges from this last weekend.
My companion and protector of nearly 12 years accompanied me to San Jose. On the way down, we stopped and picked up my sister, who was NOT ready for me – Sorry, I just HAD to get that on the record. Hotel and event registration went smoothly and we even had time for the meet and greet before running upstairs to change for dinner.
The keynote speech was interesting to me. Years ago I had heard slave marsha present a class on how to tell if it was abuse. It was her words that often came up for me at key times throughout the years. During the speech I sometimes wondered here and there if maybe I didn’t hang on long enough or fight hard enough. I KNOW that isn’t true, and the proof is where we both are now vs where we were over a year ago. We both are in better places.
When I was a little girl my daddy told me to keep my fingers together when I fed Valfiery. He said that Valfiery would think my little girl fingers were small carrots and bite me if I didn’t. Well, one day I forgot. I went out to see Valfiery and Bama and Melody and the other animals and sure enough, when I fed Valfiery, he bit me! I was so angry with him. I felt so betrayed that he would actually hurt me that I didn’t speak to him for close to a month – a very long time in a young girls life.
As an adult I remembered that lesson and added to it. You should never put your hands into the cage of an animal. You can never know for sure what they will do. Working with the big cats and such, we often use chicken necks as treats and our fingers look a lot more like chicken necks then they do carrots. I cannot afford to forget the nature of what I work with. That is a luxury few of us care to have. Has that knowledge been burned into me since childhood? Ingrained in my very being? Perhaps. Perhaps it is knowledge on the genetic level, carried from Grandfather to Father to Daughter. I don’t know.
- Location:wandering
- Mood: contemplative
- Music:annoying TV
 | Quiz Galaxy Predicts that Kyranas_blog's Last Words Will Be... |
| "This is going to be extreme!" | |
| 'What will your last words be?' at QuizGalaxy.com | |
Watch your words with care.
Make sure you are saying what you mean, that you won't regret saying those things in 24 hours or a week.
This doesn't mean hide your feelings. I do believe, however, there is a difference between, "You suck big donkey dongs" and various other emotional outbursts vs "You know, X really hurt when you did that and I am upset and trying to figure out how to best move forward."
Most people, when confronted with the first example, shut down. The second example still communicates the feelings rather well and leaves both parties open for discussion and healthy individuals will usually come together to work towards a resolution.
I am stating this here because there seems to be something in the air this last week or so. Friends, family members and co-workers all seem to be struggling with this recently.
As a child I watch people sling hurtful words at each other -- things that were unkind and even as a child I realized they didn't mean. I watched a family break apart and then splinter because of those words.
People may do things that hurt, but it isn't always intentional or about you. (Okay, granted, sometimes it is.) Sometimes things are double booked, sometimes there is something with a higher priority, sometimes there needs to be a correction.... it doesn't mean it is personal. I run into this with someone at work all the time, she immediately takes it personal whenever ANYONE attempts to correct something she has done. It isn't about the fact that she is wrong, it is about everyone being on the same page and if she has to drop a task in the middle of it someone else can come along and pick it up seemlessly.
Now I am rambling...
Bottom line - mistakes are made, things happen, people feel bad. Please, allow yourself to be angry and hurt, but take care with your unkind words.
She was supposed to be getting here tomorrow night, but decided she wanted to come tonight as well. He said something about the hot tub to me a little after 11 pm. I am very happy he mentioned any of it to me at all.
He has every right to have guests and use the hot tub, etc.... He just seems to like doing it after midnight when I have to work the next day!
Auntie Faye - everything is fine. House, dogs, cats and fish are all good.
Happy birthday to you
Happy BIRTHday DEAR Celeeeeeeeeeeeeeste
Happy Birthday to you!
And many mooooooooooooooooooore!
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